Can't say I was overly surprised that John Jacob's Waterfront Grill failed. The only thing it had going for it, aside from one of the best damn views in Astoria, was the "happy hour" menu - which was great! Their regular menu was completely over-priced. And, from the few people I've talked to who actually gave their credit cards panic attacks paying for a meal, the food was just "okay." Just "okay" is hardly a rave review when you're charging pocket-busting prices, no matter how wonderful the view is.
My biggest complaint about the new wave of bars/restaurants around Astoria, including the John Jacob, is yuppification. Barren walls, sterile environments and seriously ass-busting narrow, spindly wooden chairs. The second I plant my butt at the bar in one of these joints, I can't wait to get up and get the hell outta of there.
I mean, what the hell happened to the concept of COMFORTABLE bar chairs? You know ... the ones that swivel, and have padding, and have backs on them, and arm rests, and foot rests. Now that I think of it, tho, the price of the beer is so high in a lot of these yuppified joints it's just as well the chairs are unbearable. At least now I'm so worried about splinters and a splinted wallet I don't even think about actually conversing with people. Which makes the whole reason for being there in the first point completely moot.
If you want a comfortable place to sit and drink beer and talk in THIS town, you'd better go home, open a beer, find a comfy chair, and get on the phone - the notable exception being the Golden Star's little bar, which is both comfy and cozy, and the food is cheap and plentiful.
Unsolicited advice to whoever buys the John Jacob: throw out those goddam chairs and get some new, comfortable ones. Add more beers on tap. Simplify the menu, and make it affordable to the town residents. Get the gambling machines back, too, if you want locals, as they're a good source of revenue (ask any local successful bar owner). In other words, don't just aim for the tourist crowd - they're only here a few months a year, and you need year-round regulars.
I'd really like to see that place succeed for a change, and I suspect if whoever buys it doesn't get greedy and aim strictly to fleece tourists, they might have a chance.
Click here to see Elleda's photography at the Astoria Photografpix web site
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